one year ago

i feel like i blinked in this picture and now i am here. one year ago, today i returned home from serving a full time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the New York, New York, South Mission. 

i honestly can't believe how fast a year has gone and how much that has happened since i got home. 

but i am eternally grateful for the experience i had in New York, how it has shaped me to who i am today and for all that God has blessed me with since then. a day doesn't go by where i don't think about someone i met there, my mission president and his family, the city, the island, the food, or my companions. my mission gave me a new perspective on life. i learned things there that i never would have at home. 

i am #foreverchanged because of the great calling i held as a full time missionary. some days i wish i was back there serving the wonderful people there who i call my family. but i also remember how i need to continue to be a missionary, continue to be forever changed, and continue to create my own family and teach them what i learned and what i will continue to learn. 

why wait when you know its right?

He got home the night of Tuesday, March 17th. Wednesday while we were in the car on the way home from shopping my brother in law Riley texted us on my phone asking us if Hunter would want to go do summer sales with them and told us all the benefits of it. We nodded at each other and said we would talk about it later. Well Hunter is the type of person that when i makes up his mind or wants something then he will get it done. He took my phone out of my hand and relpied, “ yes i’m coming.” then looks at me and says “you’ll come with me right?” I guess you could say thats when everything changed real quick and got real, real. Thursday the 19th we sat outside on his back lawn and talked about what we wanted our future to be like. It was a hard decision, we prayed together, we talked about pros and cons of going out, if we should go out together engaged, not engaged, or married (which sounded absolutely crazy) because i told him i’m not leaving him again. Thursday night hunter turned to me and said, “ lets just get married before. April 17th, then we can go out together and be married without any worries or leaving each other again. “ But wait, WHAT?! You literally just came home from serving a mission in Africa for two years. But, it felt like nothing but right. Nothing i would have guessed or expected in a million years, but this was God’s plan- not ours. And it was perfect. That night we went and told my parents our plan, they were all in!! Then his parents. Lets do this. We have a little less than a month to plan the wedding of the year. Our siblings were SO excited and SO supportive of us! Thats another reason it felt so right. 

We woke up Friday morning, 7AM and starting planning out of our pants. Seriously got so much done that day. Everything was falling into place and we were being so so blessed. I mean who books and amazing photographer, the temple and much more with 3 weeks notice?! We got all of the groomsmen outfits that day, ring shopping, ties, and much much more…its kinda a blur now. Oh and i quit my two jobs that day. My life literally just took a 720 degree turn. More change then i had ever thought i would go through all at once. All i thought and dreamt about was our wedding for the next 4 weeks. How were we going to pull this off?? Because we are us, our AMAZING families- could never have done it without them. The next couple weeks i never felt stress. Maybe once one day. It was bliss. It still is. Hunter is the man i’ve dreamed of marrying my whole life and more. He was so patient and loving with me through all the planning. We have fallen in love more each day, and i now know what that feels like. He is my better half. There was almost no time to play or even go on a date! But it never worried me. Sunday, March 22nd he had his homecoming talk at church. He joked that he was just going to purpose on the stand hahah…so glad he didn’t. He did simply INCREDIBLE. There are no words for how amazing he is and the man he is becoming. I fell in love with him quite a bit that day. (i may or may not have bought his ring during church…shhh) No one knew we were planning on getting married except our immediate families and a few others…which was funny and hard not to say anything all day haha!

he's comin home!

So here goes our blog. For real, for real this time. I have more motivation now that Hunter and I are married! But to update the excitement of the past month i will start with the preparing for his arrival home from his mission and then the greatest moment of my life when i saw and was in my best friends arms again!

I can’t lie and say the 7 months after my mission were short and sweet waiting for Hunter to get home. They were actually some of the most confusing, hardest, emotional months of my life. I think it all hit me exactly how i didn’t expect it. As a missionary girlfriend I didn’t want to date anyone, i had no desire, not even for fun. But then again i still needed to improve. I was so worried about staying true to who i became on my mission. So i started doing a lot of soul searching. I was in school in my first semester of college, every time someone asked me out i would tell them no, i have a boyfriend. After a few months i just had the feeling that i needed to go on dates with other guys. I didn’t know why at the time but as i made friends and went out with them i realized that it was only making me more sure that i wanted to be with Hunter and no one else. No one came close to what hunter and i had and what he was to me. I never really doubted what hunter and i had, i knew it was real and strong but of course satan and others around me wanted me to think different. We skyped on Christmas and talked for about two hours. It was normal, we talked about our future the most that we could, it made me miss him that much more and made it harder for me in a way, but also gave me comfort knowing he was still there in it with me. As the time got closer i got more and more anxious and nervous. What if he didn’t like who i was now? What if things weren’t the same and it took us a long time to figure things out? What would he think about me going out with other guys? All these questions and more raced through my mind often. All i could do was have faith in Heavenly Fathers plan for us and hope that everything would work out in HIS way. Not mine. I quickly stopped trying to picture and plan out my future. I wanted to have hope, but i didn’t want to have this (what i thought was) perfect plan in my head and then have it not work out and be completely crushed.

So....the best advice i can give to all of you "missionary waiters" is to let all of YOUR plans go and just trust most importantly in the Lord and trust in your missionary in his decisions. I mean honestly, they have a completely different way of thinking. Its hard and you'll think they are the stupidest human on earth but give them a break, they are so focused on what they are doing and if they are doing it faithfully then everything will work out. :)

One month left, 14 days, one week, 5 days, 2 days…and finally the day i had been dreaming of for YEARS was going to happen. The night before I went over to his house and helped his family make posters and get ready for him to come home. Whitney slept over and the morning of we went to the Provo Temple and did baptisms for the dead. Great idea right? I needed some peace in my soul! Afterwards we went and got our toenails painted, finished posters, got all dolled up (as much as i could in a shirt haha) and then off we went to the airport! My feelings were all over the place. It didn’t feel real. I had been waiting for this day since i was 15 years old. 15!!! and it was finally here, i would see and hopefully continue my future with Hunter in less than 1 hour. We drove to the airport making car music videos hoping that would make time go by faster. We got to the airport early, took pictures and anxiously waited and watched his airplane come in to landing. I started shaking..would i cry?? Ahhhhhhhh. Next thing i know the most attractive man came down the escalator with a shy smile on his face.

I started jumping up and down screaming, holding on to whoever was next to me. Lorie grabbed my arm and walked us up to Hunters wide open arms! Happiest sight and moment EVER. HE’S HOME!!! I watched him hug each person in his family, then i heard him say “where are my second parents?” and went straight to my mom and dad :) as i watched him, it was really him, i lost it and the tears came. Tears of pure joy and hope that everything would work out! He was and is a perfect human being. He chugged his chocolate milk that he’d been craving for 2 years as we all laughed at him. We walked out of the airport with our arms around each other never wanting to let go again. I rode back home with is family, he told us stories about his mission and he was mesmerized by the USA that he was home to again. All i could do was smile. 

He got released, as i was waiting at his house i just couldn’t believe that i was living real life. But i was dang happy that i was!! They came back and we all talked and listened, he got out all of the gifts he had brought us and then went back to his house and got all his things sorted out. I’m lucky to know what it felt like being a return missionary. Because of that i let him be in all control of what would happen, if he would want to hug me or kiss me or talk about our relationship. We were in his room cleaning everything up and we cheesily-return-missionary style had our first kiss home. He was always a teaser and that didn’t change- he did something like tried to whip me with a african piece of fabric or something and missed…so i said now you gotta….(i know, its bad- i was nervous) then he leaned over and kissed me. Whoop whoop!! Only took 4 hours! :) Seriously did not want to leave him ever again. I almost didn’t let him go home, but he was so tired and exhausted i felt bad ;) everything was so good, so right, so perfect. He later told me that he was nervous coming home to see what things would be like but as soon as he was coming down the escalator he knew that everything would be ok and that i was still the one. From the moment he came home we were inseperable once again. The next day we went shopping all day, got his phone, had his family dinner and just spent time together trying to catch up. Which i still feel like we haven’t.....